planner. Thursday , September 21st , 2017 - 05:58:48 AM
When you are operating through an unaware agenda, you do not listen to what is being said. When you have an idea or plan about the way a thing is supposed to go, you only see the relevance of what is being said as it applies to your agenda. True listening is a function of intentionally recreating the point of view of another. If you are operating through an agenda, you cannot possibly see another's point of view. You can only see it in relationship, in agreement or disagreement, to your preferences. How many times, for example, have you walked into a store only to be driven away by a salesperson whose agenda to get a commission has him or her pressure you until all you can think of doing is escaping the premises. The sales associate is not seeing you, as an individual. He or she only sees you in terms of the possible fulfillment of a personal desire.
The inherent reason for such automatic behavior on both sides is well explained in The Gameless Relationship so Im not going to repeat it here. Suffice it to say that 15,000 years of living in survival mode have created deep roots in our way of thinking and dealing with realities, that we most of the time operate on automatic and rarely stop to smell the roses and attempt to be authentic because being authentic, although seemingly dangerous at times, will not summon a saber tooth tiger to threaten our very life.
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